New Jersey Number for Hart

Ann Arbor, MI – In a surprise move, Coach Lloyd Carr called an emergency press conference today, announcing a new motivational tactic for the Woverine football team. Star senior running back Michael Hart was also in attendance. Coach Carr indicated he had picked Michael Hart as the sole spokesman for the tactic, which is to remind the team of the range of available grade point averages at the University of Michigan. He explained this will be done via Hart’s jersey number, which is set to be “0-4″, as shown below:

Several reporters asked about the relationship of Hart’s new number and the recent record of the Wolverines against The Ohio State Buckeyes, especially since Hart and the other graduating seniors had never beaten the Buckeyes. Coach Carr’s only comment was, “That’s a false connection if I’ve ever heard one. You guys all know my main objective is graduating these kids and preparing them for the real world. This is nothing more than another way to ensure they stay focused on the classroom before our bowl game. I will say this though: If losing that rivalry game each year helps them realize life ain’t fair, then I’ve done my job.”

Michael Hart indicated he was proud to be singled out as the lone spokesman, despite his mediocre grade point average. “Look, I’m out there everyday, telling everyone how awesome we are. Sometimes, our team sometimes needs a reminder that school comes first, especially after a humiliating loss at home. Trust me, it’s happened a couple times this year. I’m extremely grateful Coach chose me to wear the ‘0-4′ number. I just hope I can set a positive example for all my teammates.”

Senior stars Chad Henne and Jake Long were unavailable for comment. However, Coach Carr has indicated he might have commemorative “0-4″ jerseys made up for every senior who graduates this year as a reminder of the grade point scale and how student athletes are truly remembered.

Special thanks to BuckiAJ for this post.